Brenda Jump, treasurer of the Sanford 3rd Age Club, one third of the STAC crime-busting team and dogsbody of the Lazy Luncheonette gives a rare interview.
Visit Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries official website HERE
How has your life changed since appearing on the TV programme, I-spy? (The I-Spy Murders)
It hasn’t. I still get up at half past five
every morning and turn up at the Lazy Luncheonette for seven and I still get into
arguments with Joe. Some of the draymen give me the glad eye, but come on, is
that what appearing on telly does for you? I thought, you know, “Here I am showing
my all, twenty-four/seven, surely some minor celeb will notice me.” And what do
I end up with? Truckers with bellies as large as their appetites and men who deliver
beer for a living.
You,
Sheila and Joe encounter suspicious deaths wherever you go. Is this a gift?
It is for the insurance companies. According
to Joe, whenever they see our names on the guest list, they jack up the hotel’s
cost of cover.
It’s more to do with Joe, you know. He’s
incapable of keeping anything to himself, especially his opinions. And he’s so
nosy. Never leave him alone with your wardrobe or you’ll find him checking out
your smalls and drawing all sorts of conclusions from what he finds. I mean,
what is suspicious about a pair of red, polka-dot knickers? Most women have a
pair… don’t they?
Costa
del Sol is a cornucopia of beaches, boutiques and bars. Did the latest corpse
put a bit of a damper on things?
A bit of a damper?
Considering the body was found face down in the pool, you could say that, LOL.
Considering the body was found face down in the pool, you could say that, LOL.
I try not to let it bother me, and I have to
admit, it didn’t trouble me too much this time. The work Sheila and I did for Joe
took no more than a couple of hours out of a week’s holiday. And I keep telling
Joe that there are more important things in life than sticking his nose into
other peoples’ deaths. There’s shopping for one. Torremolinos is quite
cosmopolitan, you know. It calls to the serious, professional shopper, and I’m
afraid bodies in the pool came second.
The
expats in Torremolinos had plenty of secrets – has Joe Murray discovered any of
yours?
You mean aside from red, polka-dot knickers?
There was a time, a few months ago, when I
thought he and I… well, you know. It didn’t work out, but he learned a few
things about me. Nothing really damning, and nothing he didn’t already know
from when we were teenagers. But the real secrets, like the PIN for my bank
card, are still kept where no man can get at them. At least not in daylight,
they can’t.
So
what do you find so endearing about Joe?
His money: LOL.
It’s his naivety with women. He’s not the best
looking bloke in the world. He’s not the best-looking bloke in the Lazy
Luncheonette, come to that, and when he’s in a mood, he’s generally less fun
than waxing strips at the beauty parlour, but he’s sharp eyed. He misses
nothing. You try nicking a sachet of mustard off the counter, and you’ll see
what I mean. And he does have bottle. He’s not afraid of anything or anyone.
Until they threaten him, that is, and then I have to step in and save his bacon
and eggs.
You’re
possibly the only person privy to the secrets of his gilet. What’s hidden in
all those pockets?
I hope you’re not inferring that I’m the kind
of woman who would go through a man’s gilet without him noticing. He used to keep his tobacco tin, rolling
papers, lighter and that kind of stuff in there, but as you’ll see from our
adventures in Spain, he’s had to give up the weed, so I don’t know what he
keeps in the pockets any more. I can tell you what he doesn’t keep in it:
his wallet. I couldn’t find that even while he was sleeping it off after we…
Yes, well, never mind.
***
Costa del Murder, STAC Mystery #9 is available
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